At first, denial can be a healthy defense against admitting that your loved one has dementia.
Denial involves not acknowledging what you see or hear and/or subconsciously ignoring what you see or hear. Denial helps you block the more painful aspects of reality. However, if denial continues too long, then it can be life-threatening to you and your loved one.
If you find yourself doing one or more of these things, you know you’re in denial:
- Ignoring tell-tale signs such as your loved one tripping or dropping things. These actions are more than a sign of clumsiness– they are indications that the nervous system is impaired.
- Rationalizing his or her behavior. Saying, “It doesn’t matter that she just turned on the burners on the stove and walked away without putting a pot on to boil. She’ll be back in a minute.” She won’t, and you could have a fire.
- Allowing your loved one to walk the streets unaccompanied when you know he or she can get lost. Getting lost and losing a sense of direction is a symptom of dementia.
- Expecting your loved one to follow his usual schedule. You must adapt to the changes caused by dementia. He can’t go to work as usual, as much as he might want to go. He might not even be able to get to the doctor. Consider hiring a nurse’s aide or utilize your support system to be with your loved one as much as possible.
- Letting your loved one continue to drive or handle machinery. Drive him or her yourself, or hire a driver.
- Getting angry out of proportion to what happened. You are suppressing your feelings when you’re in denial, so your anger and many other feelings will be much more intense than usual. Once you stop the denial, it is possible to regain control of your emotions.
- Projecting your own feelings on your loved one. He might not be feeling what you think he’s feeling. Take the time to sit down and talk with him at length and try to find out what he is really feeling.
You will eventually be forced to break through your denial. The key to your emotional health is to stay out of denial.
It is recommended to engage in psychotherapy with a trusted professional, and/or joining a support group. Talking to friends and family can be helpful. Objective professionals outside of your immediate circle can help you best identify your denial and work with you on a plan for your long-term emotional health.
For the Dementia sufferer, often people who show symptoms of Dementia are in denial.
Using denial as a coping strategy will always fail; prevent the family from taking the right steps and getting the right treatment for their loved ones.
Denial can cause unwanted outcomes and will lead to a rapid progression of the disease.
Denial causes high level of stress to the caregiver who is trying to help in any way possible.
It is human nature to deny what we find unpleasant or frightening but when it prevents us from seeing facts and facing implication then it will not help our loved ones or ourselves.
Secrets like this are extremely stressful to keep.
It’s well known that many people with early-stage dementia will do almost anything to hide their symptoms for as long as possible. They might disguise their miscues under light-hearted comedy, or deliberate projections of “silly me” absentmindedness, or outright lies. Anything to retain a grasp on what it felt like to be normal, just for a bit longer.
Although denial is a normal stage among the many other stages of the dementia-diagnosis acceptance process, it presents many challenges for the patient and for their families and friends. Memory-care and dementia treatment programs must strive to address the “secret fears” of those diagnosed—and to provide detailed education to family members on how to understand dementia and how to interact with their recently diagnosed loved ones—or the well intentioned job may be only half-done.